We Asked Eight Shriners: What Does Being a Man Mean to You?

In a man’s life, brotherhood can come in many forms. He might be lucky enough to have grown up with male siblings, or maybe he joined a fraternity in college and gained a whole pack of brothers. But brotherhood is important in adulthood, too, and few organizations offer an experience that combines fun and fellowship like Shriners International.

The fraternity provides a clear sense of brotherhood and direction while modeling positive attributes through leadership and mentoring. In short, being in Shriners International can teach you how to be a better man and live a life of integrity and substance.

But don’t take it from us. We tapped eight nobles from throughout the United States and beyond to discuss this topic, and they sounded off on what being a man means to them, how they show up in the lives of their loved ones and much more.

Carlos Herrera
Chapter: Abou Saad Shriners
Location: Panama
Occupation: Cybersecurity manager

How do you try to show up as a man in the lives of your friends and family members? In a world that moves at an incredible speed, filled with constant noise and endless distractions, I believe the most powerful way to show up for others is through intentionality. For me, being present as a man means consciously carving out dedicated spaces for my family and friends where they have my undivided attention. It’s about more than just "being there" physically; it’s about being present in every sense of the word, listening deeply and truly enjoying the company of the people I love. In a fast-paced society, giving someone your full attention is one of the greatest acts of respect and care you can offer.

What have you learned about leadership through Shriners? Serving as a Past Potentate of Abou Saad Shriners and Past Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of Panama, combined with my professional role as country manager for a multinational cybersecurity firm, has shown me that true leadership is never about the exercise of power but rather an exercise of positive influence. Whether I am navigating the high-stakes environment of cybersecurity or leading a fraternal organization, I’ve learned that a true leader creates environments where every individual feels empowered to contribute their unique talents and abilities. Leadership is service in action. It is about leading by example and genuinely caring for your team. It means providing the necessary guidance, tools and support to enable others to achieve their goals. Ultimately, leadership is about helping those around you become the best versions of themselves.

Patrick Frank
Chapter: Kosair Shriners
Location: Kentucky
Occupation: Roofing company owner and pitmaster

What does being a man mean to you personally? Being responsible, kind and forgiving to others. Leading by example. To walk upright by challenging myself to be a better man than the day before. By having standards that never waver. When you give others your word, you mean it by keeping your word. To always treat others with the dignity and respect that you expect from others.

What have you learned about leadership through Shriners? I’ve learned to be more understanding by showing others grace. When creating events, including the community, to showcase who we are and what we're about. To be transparent and trustworthy. That we should always carry ourselves as mentors by being level and square in our actions and reactions. These lessons have taught me to be a better husband, father, brother, Shriner and business owner.

Troy Thompson
Chapter: Moslem Shriners
Location: Iowa
Occupation: Territory sales manager

What does being a man mean to you personally? When I think about what it means to be a man, I don’t think about having all of the answers. I think about responsibility – showing up, being accountable to the people who matter.

What have you learned about leadership through Shriners? I grew up as a patient of Shriners Children’s, so this fraternity has been part of my life for a very long time. As I got older and became a Shriner myself, I realized it wasn’t about giving back – it was about becoming better. Being part of this brotherhood taught me the importance of service, humility and standing shoulder to shoulder with other men who want to live with purpose. I’ve learned how to be a better husband, a better leader and a better friend. For me, being a man means making a positive difference wherever you can and finding strength in the community while you do it.

Ben Meyer
Chapter: Abu Bekr Shriners
Location: Iowa
Occupation: Attorney magistrate

What does being a man mean to you personally? You should give yourself to [those you care about] through time, energy, support, even if it means making some personal sacrifices. Giving also means to give to others not within your circle to do your part to make the world a better place. Some years back, there was a quote from the movie Kingdom of Heaven: "What man is a man who does not make the world better?" That quote really spoke to me around the time that my wife was pregnant with my oldest. That quote and the drive it sparked led me down the path that ultimately led to Freemasonry and the Shrine.

What has Shriners taught you about being a man in the 21st century? That it doesn't need to be all serious and work. The male role models I had were always working, and what little time they did spend at home usually involved working on some project and dragging me along. Being a part of Shriners has shown me that it is good for these kids to see a strong male role model who is serious when he needs to be but fun and goofy when he can be. Shriners shows this all the time when taking these good men who are strong role models and then putting them in funny vehicles in a parade or clowning at the circus. 

Kenji Prince
Chapter: Aladdin Shriners
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Self-employed, barber shop owner

What does being a man mean to you personally? I strive to be a positive masculine influence, to be a good example of treating all people with respect.

What has Shriners taught you about being a man in the 21st century? Spending time with my Shrine brothers expands my understanding of my fellow man. I have the opportunity to get to know a diverse group, and it has opened my eyes to different ways of thinking. It has tested my patience, increased my empathy and broadened my circle of family.

Kristopher Torrey
Chapter: Al Kader Shriners
Location: Oregon
Occupation: Retired

How do you try to show up as a man in the lives of your friends and family members? Every day, I live by the virtues I was raised by in my family. My parents taught me to care for those less fortunate, protect the ones we love, show empathy where needed and always give back to society. I served in the Marine Corps for eight years and a total of 13 years in federal law enforcement. I have now been a Shriner for almost five years. Every day, I live by the Shriners creed and the morals of Freemasonry. Every day, I strive to be a better person than I was yesterday.

What has Shriners taught you about being a man in the 21st century? Being a Shriner has taught me that men can show emotion, that men can cry when they see a child walking for the first time after getting their new legs from our hospitals. That men can hug and show feelings for another man without it being seen as unmasculine. I have met some of the best men I know in Freemasonry, and they have taught me there is no shame in showing emotion.

Asheley Lybarger
Chapter: Ainad Shriners
Location: Illinois
Occupation: Assistant manager

How do you try to show up as a man in the lives of your friends and family members? I try to be a reliable and respectful person, along with just showing up when needed, not only when asked.

What have you learned about leadership through Shriners? I have learned that it takes a long time to build trust and relationships where people feel comfortable enough to follow, but, once you have built that trust, people will help you any way that they can. Everyone deserves the same respect no matter what title they may have.

Carl Idler
Chapter: Syria Shriners
Location: Ohio
Occupation: Retired

How do you try to show up as a man in the lives of your friends and family members? I try to be a friend to all and would give them the shirt off my back if it was needed. If they've done me wrong, I would still try to be the better man, which takes a lot of emotional strength.

What have you learned about leadership through Shriners? I have learned a lot about being a leader and continue to learn day to day. Always stick to your convictions, and be willing to lead the charge as a leader, not a follower.